Smoky Slow Cooker Chili, without the slow cooker

"I'm a low-brow but I rock a little know-how."

- the Red Hot Chili Peppers

THE (spicy) HISTORY

The last time I attempted this recipe, I stirred in a little shame as an afterthought, and was less than pleased with the results. The shame developed because I hate to waste food. I used chipotle chili powder instead of regular (I was out!) and (this was the true meal-killer) used probably 1/4 of a cup of "El Pato" hot sauce. I thought I was compensating for the fact that I had no "Mexican hot-style tomato sauce [such as El Paso]," but in fact, I pulled a Jeffrey Rowland and overcompensated, rendering the chili inedible. My husband and I managed to choke a little down, but when I couldn't finish a bowl even after diluting it with two hunks of cornbread and with two glasses of water by my side, I knew there was not a lot of hope for the rest of the batch. So bring out... REMATCH!

THE CHANGES

First of all, some mods. I used the pound of ground pork and the smoked ham hock (I'll put a smoked ham hock in anything but breakfast cereal), but omitted the pound of boneless pork shoulder. It just sounded like an extra step that I didn't need, especially when I always end up soaking more beans than I need and hence have more protein than I know what to do with anyway. Which brings me to my next modification: dried beans over canned. Canned beans are saltier and more expensive, which is not to say I don't use them, but my cheapskate side gets a little irked when a recipe tells me to use canned and I already have dried. So, I used dried - which meant that I had a very late dinner indeed.

I also used only a handful of pinto beans - the rest were pink beans. Google tells me that "another common term for pink beans is chili beans" (recipezaar.com), so I hope I'm in the clear. If only I hadn't squandered all of my pintos on that capsaicin-fueled nightmare last week!

I guess I made only three other modifications:

1) still couldn't find that elusive "Mexican hot-style tomato sauce [such as El Paso]" and used a can of tomato sauce and a few squirts of "El PaTo" hot sauce instead,

2) squirrelled away a couple of ounces of beer for myself in spite of the author's admonishment to use 12 oz instead of a cup if cooking on the stovetop, and

3) omitted the cilantro on top at the end because I forgot that my husband, and his aversion to said herb, would be out of the house playing Dungeons and Dragons tonight - so didn't buy any. Oh, and I guess modification number

4) is that I didn't use the slow cooker for this recipe. I was planning on using it, right up until late last night when I realized I'd have to get up at 4:45 to prepare this for the slow cooker and still get to work on time. Eeewww. Anyway, I just used my Dutch oven instead.

THE WORK

First, I browned a pound of ground pork. I have to say, though, that I think this chili would be yummy without the meat, as long as you put in a little chipotle chili to keep the smoky flavor from the ham hock, and kept the beer.

Then, I put the pork in a different container and sauteed the onion, pepper, and then garlic (added at the last minute) in the pot where the pork had been. Sauteeing onions is one of my favorite things to do because 1) my stomach knows that it means that some kind of soup is on the way, and 2) unless I forget about the pot and go downstairs to do laundry, I can't really screw it up.

Next, I added the tomato paste. The recipe had me sautee it with the onions and peppers for 3 minutes, I guess to just keep cooking the whole mixture down? And then, the beer. I love adding alcohol to a sizzling dish. It opens up another whole family of aromas.

I then added the rest of the herbs and spices, tomatoes, beans, hot sauce, smoked ham hock... and... the tomatillos! They're my favorite - they're so cute! Here's one to do a little striptease for us now:

I love the teensy seeds!

Despite their individual charms, however, the tomatillos ended up spending their night in service to the greater good: my chili.

After adding the tomatillos, I covered the pot and settled in for a looooong, hungry, 2.5 hours.

Here's a glimpse of the pink beans about halfway through. They really are pink!

When the 2.5 hours were up, I pulled out the ham hock, shredded the meat, and threw the shreds back into the pot. Here's the defrocked ham hock:

Of course, even with 2.5 hours to spare while the chili was cooking, I forgot that I had a little prep work to do for the toppings. So at the last minute, so desperate from hunger (it was at least 9:30 at this point!) that I actually used the recipe as a cutting board, I chopped the green onions, crumbled the queso fresco, and hacked up some lime wedges.

(lime wedges not pictured)

Aaaaaaaaand, the final product!

I had some cornbread in the freezer from last week's failed attempt of the chili recipe. It thawed and reheated pretty nicely!

THE END!

I would make this chili again in a heartbeat (assuming we didn't already have chili leftovers in the fridge) using the slow cooker or the pressure cooker, but would probably not do it again in the Dutch oven unless I had all afternoon. Definitely NOT a weeknight dish with the dried beans. I might have been able to speed up the process a bit by cooking the beans with just the veggies and a non-acid cooking liquid for a while, adding the tomatoes and beer later (acid keeps beans from cooking quickly, right? I think I've read that). Even so, it's too big of a project for a Monday night, IMO.

I have to confess that my motivation for making this chili in the first place had a lot to do with the toppings. Here's how my line of reasoning went, even if I couldn't have articulated it at the time:

I love noodle bowls.

Noodle bowls (sometimes) have limes and green onions on top.

This chili has limes and green onions on top.

I will love this chili.

And hey, I did! But if you're going to make it, don't leave out the toppings. The tomatillos were fun, but not nearly noticeable enough to justify "trying something new" in a chili recipe all on their own. The stuff on top makes the meal!